Life Is a nonfiction story based on opinions and facts
On What I Believe
What she believes
What he believes
Not Just Them And Me But Everybody
See Life Is A Video Game
It Has Rules To Play
But We constantly blame each other for our own mistakes
We Constantly put others down for more fame
Forgetting That As 1 Society We Are The Same in A Different Way
In Life You can’t depend on anyone
Not even the people you thought had your back till the end
But Now You Began To Start Off Your Questions with
How’s, What’s, Why’s, and When’s
Only To Find Out These People Never Had your back to began with
We All live life afraid to be wrong or right
But out Rights might be wrong and our wrongs might be right
Life Is The Sun It Sometimes Shines So bright
That it Possibly Blinds the human eye sight
And Brainwashes humanity about life
Life Has Many Paths and which ever one You take
Its always a dull and bright light that awaits
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying the dull light is bad
I’m not saying the bright light is good
I’m just saying which ever one choose
We Are still human Beings we still win and we definitely still loose
Life Is a battle that you continuously fight
Round after round
But we won’t lose tonight
See I’ll be strong
He will be strong
She will be strong
It Dosent matter what race I am and the color of My skin tone
Understand we Are 1
Will always Be 1
What Light Will you choose?
Who Will You Become?
“Janey’s got a gun”. “Janey’s got a gun”. Janey Briggs from Not Another Teenage Movie is the spitting image of me. Welcome to my world at Lakemont High School the biggest hole on this earth. It is separated with different types of kids. It has the popular kids, the hippie kids, then there is us the geeks. We are the lowest and will always be the lowest.
Our everyday attire consists of dirty overalls and beat up Chuck Taylors. We wear these creepy eyeglasses that kind of resemble Harry Potter glasses. The good thing is these glasses help me see everything from the smallest words to the girls gelled down baby edges. Honestly I was not trying to impress anyone at Lakemont. Luckily this was my senior year and with all the pressure on me I did not have time to even think about a boy.
Everyone at Lakemont had girlfriends and boyfriend’s besides me. The football players dated the cheerleaders, hippies dated other hippies and geeks dated no one. Some of my friends were hippies and they all had boyfriends. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s not that I did not want a boyfriend I was just so focused on school I really did not have time for it. It would be a huge distraction so I thought. With that being said I was not ready for what soon happened. Life Itself felt as if it was at a end for me.
Starting second semester at Lakemont was beyond stressful. The fact that graduation was a few months away made everything even more stressful. Prom was near too but I did not care I was not going anyway. The crazy thing is all my friends were dating and I was not. They pressured me into dating but I knew for a fact I was not ready. My maturity level was low as well as my self esteem.
As days went by and weeks flew by I started seeing this one football player a lot. We had classes together but only on Fridays. See our school put us on a A day B day schedule so on Fridays I came to school happy as ever. He was so fine and sexy. Literally he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. His name was Peter.
There were a a lot of Peters at Lakemont but he stood out the most to me. This boy had the most perfect teeth and his neatly arched eyebrows were breathtaking. I guess you can say he was a pretty boy but, that made him even more perfect in my eyes. Finally I had my eyes on somebody.
Friday was here again and I was so excited to see him. He had on the flyest shoes with the flyest outfit to match. The cologne he wore circled my nose with intensity. I finally spoke to him and with everything in me. My palms were drenched and butterflies danced around in my stomach. Shockingly he spoke back and smiled showing off his white pearls. The feeling I had was incredible and from that moment on I overcame my phobia of boys.
So this became a routine over the next couple of weeks. He was my man crush everyday. His personality seemed So calm and peaceful sort of like the person I had always dreamed of marrying. A couple of weeks is not enough time to really see a person’s true colors so I needed more time. Peter played a lot and was so goofy that every time he made me laugh the restroom called my name. I loved every bit of him from his curly hair to his polo boots
Everyday I wore my glasses for assecories and to help me see better. Peter being Peter snatched them off and ran. He ran so fast that within minutes it became impossible for me to catch him. I really thought I could catch a boy who runs down a huge field everyday for a football. Later on that day I called him up and we started talking immediately.
A hour into our conversation he mentioned the glasses. He stated that if I wanted my glasses I should come get them. I was not sure if I should go over there or wait till Monday to get them. Even Though he was cool I knew he was a player so that made everything more uncomfortable. So I just decided to put my fear aside and go over there. This decision was the end of my life.
At a distance I saw his neighborhood. Questions filled my head completely. What am I getting myself into? Should I just wait till Monday to get them? His house was beautiful and was exactly what I expected. Whereas mines was beat up and slowly falling apart. I rang the door bell and he answered the door so quick as if he was watching for me out the window. Peter was super hot hotter then fire. So I guess you can say i was head over heels for this guy.
We sat down on his leather couch and began talking again. This time I was more nervous than when we talked on the phone. We were face to face so my anxiety level was at its highest. This conversation was something major. He got closer and closer to me but, surprisingly I was not scared. Lord knows I was loving every bit of it. Everything seemed magical and I was just waiting on Prince charming to make that final move.
He finally kissed me after about 10 minutes and it was amazing. We started making out for awhile and then it happened. We went to his room and I did not know what to do. He layed me down on his bed and continued to kiss me passionately. We became one that night. The heat of my body combined with the heat if his body powerfully. Soon our whole relationship or friendship went downhill.
Days went by and we slowly loss all contact. We both distanced ourselves with tension. I was so confused and he was confused. Usually we would sit by each other in class but we stopped. I did not know what was going on between us. Everything was so awkward now. 3 weeks passed and there was still no contact.
After all that tension I was completely exhausted. I started feeling sick on the inside. This was not any ordinary sickness it was bad. The toilet became my friend because I continuously threw up. This lasted for about 2 weeks. I finally went to my doctor and she told me that this was not a stomach virus. She stated to me to that I was pregnant.
How could this be? This couldn’t be true. I was only 17 what was I going to do with a baby. Keeping this from my mom was hard so I just came out and told her my situation. She was so mad with me but there was nothing I could do. Adoption and Abortions were not choices for me. I would have to live with this even if it resulted in not graduating from Lakemont.
Telling Peter about my pregnancy was the hardest thing. Knowing that it was a possibility that he would be mad was scary. So finally I Got in contact with him and he was mad. He stated to me that he was not ready to be a father. It was one thing he never told me that I feared the most. He was born with HIV. So I got tested and it came back positive. This one mistake caused a lot. Knowing that my life would possibly be shortened was even worse. My life took a wrong turn.
7 months passed and shockingly he was by my side. It was time to have the baby and we were nervous. We coped with having to take a lot of medication and the pregnancy. I knew I would not be able to have a natural birth because of my illness but I was still happy. We were excited to finally meet our baby boy.
During my labor l took my medicine that I thought would lower the risk of him having the disease. So I took it and began my labor but his movement slowed rapidly . Not knowing how this would turn out I just prayed. After about 15 minutes they cut him out and I was relieved. There was a painful silence that filled the room. He did not cry and the color of his skin was purple. Immediately they explained to me that my baby boy was dead. Some things are just not what they appear to be. Man I knew should have just waited till monday.
Where do I even start?
I can remember me and dads long walks in the park
Just me and him it was perfect
We would stay there from day time till dark
The trees were as tall as him with soft leaves and hard bark
Him and mom were going through a bit
But he never stopped loving me
When daddy daughter day came he sort of felt free
Like my own little butterfly with unique colors and large wings
It was peaceful and silent
With no pain, no sorrow,and no grief
A beautiful sea like sound is what it sounded like to me
It was a place he came to for relief
Mom and dad eventually split and even though it hurt me it was for the best
Mom cheated, dad cheated
Even then they still had a reason to love
That reason was me
My mind was a diary full of filled pages and stories
I still do not think you understand how deep it hurt me and how deep it affected me
In ways you wouldn’t even believe
Then He Met HERRRRR………..
Dad I thought I was your heart?
I still am or am I?
I feel like I am in competition with his new girl
She is terribly small but her head has the texture of a satin red brick wall
She is not tall at all I am certain
She thinks she can take my dad away
It will not happen NEVER
You see I was here first
I was born first
I mean my dad tells me he loves me
He tells me I’m still #1 but it does not feel that way
Yes I have a lot to say because she’s trying to take my dad away
And the thing is she does not want me here
She simple wants me somehow erased
Her brows are dark and creepy like the jokers but more messy
And I am sick of her wearing that same hairstyle and those slutty clothes she call dressy
She has no style
She wears the same ole green shirt that makes her look like a frog
She is a creep
Not in a year
Not in 10 years but TODAY
I wish she would just go away like those nasty mosquitos we all hate
She will not stay away
I hate her and I know that is a harsh thing to say
It is true and that is okay
It is okay with me at least
Like when we were young and inside a grocery store
Then mom says “put it back”
She is a irritating conniving spoiled bratt
Her voice gets stuck in my head like that one favorite song we constantly sing but eventually get tired of hearing it
Story of my life this is how u feel when she talks
And not to mention that annoying way she pokes her but out and walk
She thinks she has the biggest but on planet earth
I get disgusted every time she twist back and forth
I get sick and tired of seeing her face
“Just Go Away” is what I would love to say
Not in a year
Not in 10 years but TODAY